quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
