I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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