Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
