Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
