i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
