Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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