Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize