I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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