i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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