About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Come on in and take your pants off
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