No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I see more hoeing in ur future
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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