I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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