so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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