maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize