he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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