they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he fucked my hip out of place.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
