Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
