I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
