ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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