We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
