The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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