Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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