Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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