why didn't you poke me back
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
