I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
