i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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