I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
