if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
