To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
