my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
then he tried to convert me to islam
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize