There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
