And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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