im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
