So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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