The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
