so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
