I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
i think i just lost a toe
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
