I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
