She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
