you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
