is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
