i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
