A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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