Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just invented taco cereal.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
