you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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