I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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