Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I need moral support for this bender
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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