I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
