Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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