Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize