Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
