Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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