Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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