The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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