it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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