i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
