I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
