I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
