i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Boobs speak an international language.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
