i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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