the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
