awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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