you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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