Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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