so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
