Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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